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Jesus Loves Me…But Not You

18 Aug

Let’s put on the way back machine. Remember that religious guy I mentioned in my first post? Well here it is, the story.

It really wasn’t all that funny, until the end. I was in love, we used to meet up at a local park before school started to make out in the back of his parent’s minivan. He would leave flowers on my car for me, we went to different schools so the whole thing was very exotic.

There will be more installments of bits n’ pieces of this story, as a first real relationship it has it’s moments, often.

This installment is the break up, we’re “Tarantino’ing” this story.

I had just gotten back from Europe, this was the summer before my Senior year of high school. I was feeling all sorts of wordly and loving life. One thing I had realized while on a trip with 20 other high school aged students, who had been in public school all their lives. (I went to a private, religious school until freshman year of high school.) They were all talk, and some action, about all sorts of fun activities I had yet to partake in, namely with significant others.

Well after five weeks away from my one-and-only I thought, hmm it might be time to amp this up a notch or two. Hints were dropped, and not picked up. Ben, that was his name, went off to an all boys youth group retreat (he was very religious – his parents thought I was the devil incarnate) and came back with a decision made.

We were driving back from town to my house, I was driving. We were going to meet a bunch of friends and go to the beach – I lived on the beach. (Think Capeside, but midwest.) Ben had been acting odd all day, wouldn’t hold my hand was often wandering off. (We were at the summer carnival – sweet God, I grew up in a freaking Bruce Springsteen song.) So naturally, being Liz, I confronted him on the drive to my place. He wouldn’t say and wouldn’t say and finally about half way to my place (I lived 20 minutes outside of town) he finally said it. “Well, during my retreat I was praying a lot. And God told me I shouldn’t be with you.” So I slammed on my breaks and kicked him out of the car on the side of a country road. ….in my fantasy. Instead I tried to figure it out, to see if there was some sort of “forgiveness” loop hole with Jesus, or God the Father, or the Holy Ghost…there was no room at the inn. He continued to explain that it wasn’t only God, but his Pastor, parents, brother and everyone else on his AOL Instant Messenger chat list.

So he broke up with me, and we spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with our friends. I took my best friend aside and told her about it. It’s ok, I found out the next day she called him that night and started flirting with him.

I should have started writing this blog years ago…

“It’s like a scene out of Can’t Hardly Wait”

17 Aug

So like any dramatic 18 year-old college student that knows everything about life I went home for a weekend after I broke up with Luke. Not to lick my wounds or to take a break from dating, but to tell the love of my young life that it was him I wanted to be with. Yup, good choice Liz.

Let me give you a little back-story on this one. My best friend Elsie has an older brother, Aiden. Now I had a crush on Aiden all through high school, and was positive the summer after my senior year of high school he would realize I was the one. Write me a CD full of love songs, because he was a musician you see, and then we would walk off into the sunset like the true emo kids we were.  This did not happen.
Any-who I was home for a weekend and the whole time I’m trying to figure out when I’m going to confess my undying love to Aiden. Obviously my tortured soul can’t tell Elsie this because god-forbid I confide in my best friend that I love her older brother.

I didn’t have the opportunity all weekend. So, on my drive out of town I decide to stop by the grocery store where he works at the deli counter. I stroll into our small town grocery store and pace the aisle’s for a solid 20 minutes while on the phone with a friend from college. She’s telling me to just do it, I need to tell him how I feel and of course he’ll say what I need him to say. I hang up the phone and strut down the aisle toward the deli counter. I yell over the counter “Hey meat boy!” Aiden turns and smiles says hi. I immediately launch into my diatribe, which went something like this.

“So I have to tell you something, to just get it off my chest.  For the past three years I’ve liked you, the whole time I was with Luke I still liked you. I just had to tell you incase you felt the same way. I can’t go on hiding it.” Now I’m pretty sure I reiterated those same statements roughly five more times, sufficiently beating a dead horse while turning red in the face and saying all of that in one long run on sentence a la Kerouac.

Aiden stares back at me blinking a couple times in a state of shock. He politely lets me down, as I have visions similar to Looney Tunes – when Wil E. Coyote gets smashed in the head by a safe. He mentions that he has just started dating this girl and doesn’t want to mess it up. But can’t believe I had the balls to come in and say that to him “It’s like something out of Can’t Hardly Wait” he says shaking his head and smiling.
I leave dejected and proceed to play every chick rock CD I have in my possession for my 8 hour ride back to school. That doesn’t stop me though, I continue to have feelings for him on and off for the next two years. He turned into my go to guy for any issues I had in other relationships. Justification: “This just isn’t working with X because I’m destined to be with Aiden.” Yes I may have watched one, or maybe six seasons too many, of Dawson’s Creek. We all have our weakness. Mine are; bad haircuts, ‘90’s alt rock and love triangles. Dawson’s Creek wraps all of those up in one nice package.

To date, nothing has happened with Aiden aka Dawson. He is the great friend who motivated me to start writing these stories down several years ago.