You Reap What You Sow

27 Aug

Flash four years forward from Freshman year of college. Yes I was still in college, but worlds wiser than four years prior.

I was on Match.com – yes, I was at the time a wee babe of 22 and on Match.com. My little state university was fun and all but it was pretty much in BFE and the men there had lost their charms.

Just before the winter holiday break I received a note from a guy named Mitch on Match, who claimed to know me…this was gonna be fun. So we send notes back and forth and he said “No seriously, I’m pretty sure we hung out together a few times when I was still going to school there. You know X, Y and Z well..blah blah blah.”

Turns out we did know each other, I only vaguely remembered him. (I can’t keep all the men I’ve met over the years straight. There’s roughly a six month max you’ll stay in my “Dudes that I haven’t had a fucking ridiculous romantic experience with” list before I have to delete you to make room for the ever growing “Dudes you HAVE had a fucking ridiculous romantic experience with” list.)

So anyway, we decide to meet up in Chicago the day after Christmas. Why Chicago, because I love it, and we both lived 3 hours away from it – in the same direction. So why not both drive three hours out of the way? Because Chicago kicks ass, there’s nothing to do in my home town in the winter and I love Chicago…did I mention Chicago kicks ass?

OK so we meet up, we’re hanging out in all our favorite neighborhoods, went to the History museum. Finally the day is winding down. We’re at Pint – in Wicker Park, probably one of my favorite bars of all time. When he says:

“Wait, you used to live down the hall from Danni right?”

“I sure did, she’s a blast!”

“And you dated that guy, that Catholic guy uh..”

“Yup, Luke. I didn’t know you knew him?”

“I don’t know him, are you the girl that ran into Danni’s room that one night and yelled something about him and your boobs?”

“Yes, yes I am.” I say deadpan…are you fucking kidding me?!

What are the odds of not only finding someone you knew on Match.com but then having that person be one of EIGHT people in college dorm room in middle America who watched you have one of your first mental breakdowns about men in college? Apparently if you’re me – the odds are pretty damn high.

The date was half decent, we fell out of touch. Apparently he didn’t want to touch my fucking boobs either.

(Incase you missed the original boobs post)

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One Response to “You Reap What You Sow”

  1. Kate August 29, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    This story actually made me laugh out loud…and shake my head in pity of course.

    Hilarious stories! Love reading them!

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