“I Don’t Know If I Can Handle This, Let Me Process and Get Back to You.”

22 Aug

Last winter I had a handful of pretty entertaining dates. I was recently back on the market and actively shopping online. Online dating is one of the BEST ways to entertain yourself, or find true love, take your pick.

This story starts off with date two. Date one was your average half decent first date that gets you excited enough for date two. Date two came later that same week, hell this could really go somewhere! The guy was sweet, worked at the local newspaper, had a degree in English was pretty funny and sweet – although I could tell a bit neurotic.

So date number two goes well, and we head back to his place for another drink after dinner. Drinks and chatting naturally lead to making out and things are going well. Then, out of no where, comes a hand, on my throat, pressure is being applied. While this is happening I realize my hair is being pulled. I immediately push him away and slide to the other side of the couch.

“What was that?” I ask

“What was what?” he replies

“Where you choking me?!”

“Uh, yeah…I thought all girls liked that.” he says in an ass hole-ish tone (which is totally uncalled for (UM hello..))

“No, all girls do not like that, and even if I did not on date #2!”

“Well uh, I don’t know how to take this. I don’t think I can handle someone who doesn’t find me attractive.”


The conversation went on from there, mostly me trying to figure out what was going through his freaking head. Then him taking offense and making it seem like I was attacking him.

I went home that night and he said he “Needed to process what happened and get back to me.”

The following evening he sent me a text that said he didn’t think we could see each other for a while and that it’s probably best if we not even chat or text. (I hadn’t texted him all day, and never did again.)

It’s ok though folks, happy ending…. I RUN INTO HIM EVERYWHERE. Normally when I’m out on a date with another guy. So ya know, that’s fun.

I once ran into him at my local haunt when out for drinks with the girls. He was on what seemed like a first date. When his date went into the bathroom I was tempted to follow her and inform her of his style. Turns out I’ve seen them on several dates since.

It’s an S&M fairytale, with a happy ending.


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