Boobs, They Have Needs

14 Aug

I could do this in chronological order, but where’s the fun in that? This first installment of PLF is from my Freshman year in college. I went to a small state school in the Midwest. It was your average state school, co-ed dorms, parties and all sorts of the standard “college activities.”

So without further adieu please enjoy one of my first crazy dating stories from earlier in my dating career.

Coming into college I wasn’t the most experienced of co-ed’s. Like most 18 or 19 year-old girls I was excited about the prospect of meeting “the one” yes I was that girl.  Everywhere I went I had some cheesy alt rock song playing in the background, or on my iPod, hoping that around the next corner, in the aisle of a grocery store, or at the local coffee shop I would bump into him and the rest would be history.

Well not quite…life hit me upside the head right quick.

The summer before my freshman year of college I met a nice boy…on Facebook. Yes, this was the summer of 2005 and The Facebook was hardly a year old. Back when you still had to type in and only if you were a college student could you be on it. (Those were the days… ) Well, I was friended by this cute guy named Luke. Luke and I hit it off, over the internet.

Moving to a new school and a new town where you know nobody is scary especially when it’s eight hours from home. So Luke and I were fast friends, then before I knew it we were in a “relationship.” You bet your sweet ass we were Facebook official as well.

A few months had passed and I was enjoying my relationship with Luke and all the friends I had made. There was just one problem, Luke was extremely religious. So things weren’t progressing as quickly physically as I had hoped.

I had been down this road before in high school, with a religious guy.  (Another hilarious dating escapade for another day)

Luke was every bit a gentleman but I was getting fed up. So, I went to my friend Danni. She was 21, worldly and bought us booze. In short the dorm equivalent of a prophet.  We had talked many times about my relationship with Luke and she always told me to stop by after seeing him (he lived just 2 dorm rooms down from Danni.) So one night after being politely kicked out of Luke’s room, I stomped down the hall to Danni’s, threw opened the door, and let my sexual frustration fly.  “DANNI, HE WON’T TOUCH MY FUCKING BOOBS!” I screamed. Of course, in true Liz fashion, I hadn’t taken a moment to gage the situation and just launched into my mellow drama de jour. After glancing around I realized she had about eight people in her room drinking and hanging out.

I had two choices; either play into the embarrassment and leave, or become the entertainment for the evening. So, I sat down and had a heart to heart with Danni and the eight other people I hardly knew. Now this, this is college.

A couple weeks later and after much pontificating over the holiday break I broke it off with Luke.  My boobs needed attention.


3 Responses to “Boobs, They Have Needs”


  1. “It’s like a scene out of ‘Can’t Hardly Wait’” « It All Blew Up… - August 17, 2012

    […] college student that knows everything about life I went home for a weekend after I broke up with Luke. Not to lick my wounds or to take a break from dating, but to tell the love of my young life that […]

  2. Jesus Loves Me…But Not You « It All Blew Up… - August 18, 2012

    […] put on the way back machine. Remember that religious guy I mentioned in my first post? Well here it is, […]

  3. You Reap What You Sow « It All Blew Up… - August 27, 2012

    […] (Incase you missed the original boobs post) Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

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